Darwin Award nominees for 1997.

As you know, these nominees will not be contributing to the

gene pool (thankfully).

You may recall last year's Darwin Award winner:

The man who found out moments before making a 300 MPH dent in an

Arizona cliff that the JATO (jet assist take off) rocket he'd

strapped to his car could not be turned off once it was turned

on....

The 1997 nominees are:

NOMINEE #1 [San Jose Mercury News] An unidentified man, using a

shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield,

accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a

hole in his gut.

NOMINEE #2 [Kalamazoo Gazette, 4-1-95] James Burns, 34, of Alamo,

Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police

described as a "farm- type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the

truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could

ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on

something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the

drive shaft."

NOMINEE #3 [Hickory Daily Record 12/21/92] Ken Charles Barger, 47,

accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C., when,

awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he

reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith&Wesson .38

Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

NOMINEE #4 [UPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the

safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a

pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police

spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto

Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the

strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy

previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according

to police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner of the firm

Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one

of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

NOMINEE #5 [Bloomburg News Service, 25 March] A terrible diet and

room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who

was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but autopsy

showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had

consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other

things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that

the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that

was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his

windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was

shut up in his near airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He

was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas."

Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

NOMINEE #6 [1/29/96 The News of the weird.] Michael Anderson Godwin

made News of the Weird posthumously in 1989. He had spent several

years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction

before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. In march 1989,

sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix his

small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

NOMINEE #7 ["The Indianapolis Star", Wed., Dec. 4, 1996]. Cigarette

lighter may have triggered fatal explosion Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay

County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle

loader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his

face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in

his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said

Pryor was cleaning a .54-caliber muzzleloader that had not been

firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel

when the gunpowder ignited.

NOMINEE #8 [AP, St. Louis] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being

disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call

police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked

out without paying for it. Police found him unconscious in front of

the store: paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat,

where it had choked him to death.

NOMINEE #9 [Unknown] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag

standing above him on an overhanging rock-and was killed instantly

when it fell on him.

NOMINEE #10 [Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA] Blasting Cap Explodes

in Man's Mouth at Party. A man at a party popped a blasting cap into

his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his

lips, teeth and tongue, state police said Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer,

24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a party late

Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D.Payne. 'Another man had it in an

aquarium, hooked to a battery, and was trying to explode it," Payne

said. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said, 'I'll show you how

to set it off. "

NOMINEE #11!!! [Arkansas Democrat Gazette], July 25, 1996: Two local

men were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left the road and

struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday

morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident

shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and

Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition

at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were

returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday

night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The

two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck

had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis

noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly

into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting

the bullet, A the headlights again began to operate properly and the

two men proceeded on east-bound toward the White River bridge. After

traveling approximately twenty miles and just before crossing the

river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole

in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right

exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor

cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to

repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was

treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when

Thurston shot his _____ off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but

this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit

how this accident happened", said Snyder. Upon being notified of the

wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife asked how many frogs the boys had aught

and did anyone get them from the truck.