sent to the DHSS (Social Security). Although rather crude they are
written in good faith by the senders.
***
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
***
Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother.
***
I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob off.
***
The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared.
***
The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous.
***
Will you please send someone to mend our broken path as my wife tripped and fell on it and she is now pregnant.
***
Our kitchen floor is very damp and we have two children and we would like a third so will you please send somebody round to do something about it.
***
Would you please repair our toilet. My son pulled the chain and the box fell on his head.
***
Mrs. Smith has no clothes and has had none for over a year. The clergy have been visiting her.............
***
I need money to buy special medicine for my husband as he is unable to masturbate his food.
***
In reply to your letter, I have already cohabited with your officer with no results so far.
***
I am pleased to inform you that my husband who was reported missing, is dead.
*** Mrs. Adams has asked me to collect her money as she is going in to hospital to have her overtures out.
***
Sir, I am forwarding my marriage certificate and two children - one of which is a mistake as you will see.
***
My husband is diabetic and has to take insolence regular but he finds he is lethargic to it.
***
Unless I get my husbands maintenance money soon I shall be obliged to live an immortal life.
***
The children have been off school because there is a lot of me`asles about and I had them humanised.
***
Please forward my money at once as I have fallen into errors with my landlord and milkman.
***
You have changed my little boy into a little girl. Will this matter?
***
Mrs Brown only THINKS she's ill, but believe me she is nothing but a hypodermic.
***
In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
***
I want my sick pay quick. I have been in bed under the doctor for a week and he is doing me no good. If things don't improve I shall get another doctor.
***
I do not get any money from my son. he is in the army and his
regiment is at present manuring on Salisbury plain.
***
Milk is wanted for my baby and the father is unable to supply it.
***
Re your dental enquiry. The teeth on top are alright but those
on my bottom are hurting dreadfully.
***
I am very annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate.
This is a lie as I married his father a week before he was born.
***
I am sorry I omitted to put down all my children's names. This was
due to contraceptional circumstances.
***
I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he
put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
***
The lavatory is blocked. This is caused by the boys next door
throwing balls on the roof.
***
This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next
door.
***
The toilet seat is cracked - where do I stand?
