What is a dog?
+ They follow you around with their tongues out.
+ They only respond to simple commands.
+ Their needs are basic and predictable.
+ They whine when their needs are not met.
+ They always need to have something in their mouth.
+ They scratch a lot and sometimes drool.
+ They make loud noises and sometimes smell bad.
+ They need to be trained.
+ You can always tell when one has lived in a house for a long time.
+ They're rude and rowdy, especially when they're with others like them.
Conclusion: They're little men in fuzzy boxes.

Computer Acronyms
DOS - Defective Operating System
BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
DEC - Do Expect Cuts